Lost in a Nightmare
by BAUteous
Summary: Tragedy strikes too close to home for the BAU, leaving them wondering how this became reality or if they are stuck in some twisted nightmare.


_"This can't be happening… NO. WAKE UP, EMILY, WAKE UP! This has got to be a nightmare…"_

* * *

"JJ, go around back and secure the perimeter."

She nodded.

"Morgan, clear the shed and meet JJ out back as soon as possible. We'll enter on my count."

The pair split off, each following their fierce leader's directions.

In recent months, following Emily's departure to lead the London Interpol Office, Morgan and JJ had become partners. JJ had not adjusted well to Emily's leaving, as she loved her raven-haired friend truly, but was afraid to admit it out of fear of losing her. But she lost her anyway, didn't she? Emily's relocating to London had been in part due to JJ's refusing to leave Will out of fear for Henry's welfare. And then, a week and a half after Emily left, Will left her as well, after having been caught cheating and choosing to leave to be with the other woman.

And so here JJ was, alone, without the father of her child, and without the love of her live.

Her being partnered with Morgan only seemed logical after Emily left. They both felt her loss like no other and if they ever needed each other to lean on, now was the time.

Cautiously and with her gun drawn and at the ready, JJ creeped along toward the side of the house, quietly opening the gate so as not to make a noise. Morgan hurried behind her, veering left to the shed looming in the shadows. As he approached slowly, JJ proceeded to make her way towards the back of the house. Peering around a corner, JJ flashed her flashlight in the direction of the trees along the back fence. _"What was that?"_ she thought, as her stomach turned at the sight and sound of leaves rustling.

Back at the shed, Morgan yanked the door open and entered, checking the entirety of the shed with his flashlight. "CLEAR!" he spoke into his earpiece. As he turned around to exit, he noticed that the door had been shut behind him. "Shit!" he muttered under his breath. Of course someone had seen them entering the property and now here he was, locked in the shed, while his partner continued around the house by herself, without backup.

JJ walked ever so slowly towards the ruffling, not noticing the shadowy figure approaching from her right. **Click.** _"Oh god."_ she thought, as the all too familiar sound of a revolver being cocked echoed in her ear. A shot rang out through the darkness, and JJ's body fell quickly, into the brush in front of her, knocking her head on a boulder as she fell.

"HOTCH!" Morgan yelled into his earpiece. "SHOTS FIRED! I'M LOCKED IN THE SHED. HAS ANYONE SEEN JJ?"

"Negative." Hotch called back, as he, Rossi and Reid hurried toward the side of the house where his agents had gone just minutes prior. " _This was supposed to be an easy takedown."_ he thought to himself as they ran. And that's exactly what it was supposed to be. The unsub, though sadistic and malicious as he was, was not supposed to be armed. Where had they gone wrong? Surely, they had done everything by the book. After clearing the perimeter, they would have enacted a simple tactical break-in to take down and subdue the unsub. He was a cyber-criminal; what need did he have for a gun?

Rossi ran to the shed where Morgan was trapped and worked to undo the lock bolted on the door while Hotch and Reid hurried towards where JJ has supposedly gone. "Shit." Reid muttered under his breath as they rounded the corner and saw JJ's lifeless body in the distance. "CALL A MEDIC!" Hotch dropped to his knees beside where JJ lay and felt for a pulse. "God, please no. JJ, stay with us! JJ, please, we need you. Your son needs you!"

Though weak and thready, a pulse was there. The bullet had entered her skull at the base of her skull, right above the brain stem. Seeing no exit wound, Hotch knew without a doubt that if JJ did not get into surgery in the near future, she likely would not survive. Not to mention she had a nasty gash on her forehead from hitting her head when she fell. Stitches would be mandatory and it was likely she had a major concussion. _"God I hope she can make it through this."_ he thought before his thoughts went dark.

* * *

Before Hotch knew it, the medivac had landed and JJ was being rushed into the operating room. He didn't remember as much as boarding the medivac, let alone the medics arriving or where the rest of the team had gone. To no surprise, they had loaded into the suburban and taken off towards the hospital, hoping to make it before it was too late. It was likely their suspect had escaped, but that didn't matter anymore. JJ's life was hanging in the balance. They could only hope and pray that she would pull through.

 _"God, I should probably call Will."_ Morgan thought as he paced the halls of the hospital trying to calm his mind. Grabbing his phone from the corner table, he rushed down the hallway and quickly out the door of the hospital, not stopping until he found himself lost in the emptiness and darkness of the Emergency Room parking lot.

This could not be happening, not again. He had come so close to losing a partner before, when Doyle had taken Emily. For Christ's sakes, he thought with his whole heart that he did lose her, only to months later find out that Hotch and JJ had lied, and that Emily was really alive. He knew they lied to protect him, to protect the rest of the team, and ultimately to protect Emily. But that would never change how betrayed he had felt. He swore to never care for anyone the way he had looked after Emily again, especially not JJ after what she had done.

And yet here he was, worried sick about JJ's welfare and life. She had become his partner and his right hand. She may as well have been his little sister. And now here she was, fighting for his life, and it was his fault, the same way it has been his fault that Emily was almost taken from them permanently. He had not covered her like he should have. He didn't have her back. Kicking at a rock angrily, he dialed Will's number hastily.

"Hello?" Will's voice echoed through the phone.

Silence.

"Hello? Morgan? Are you there?"

"Will…" he spoke softly, in almost a whisper. "It's JJ. You've got to come quick."

"Morgan? What happened? Is she okay? Is Henry okay?"

"Will. Get here immediately. It's not good." With that, he hung up the phone and stood, staring into the darkness until his thoughts escaped him and he felt numb.

* * *

Minutes turned into hours as the team sat in the waiting room, hanging on every moment, hoping that by some chance, by some miracle, JJ would pull through and she would be fine.

Will had arrived about an hour after Morgan had called him, after first stopping by the home he once shared with his JJ to collect their son from the sitter. Yes, Will had left JJ to be with another woman, but at the end of the day, she was the mother of his child, and he still loved her just the same. No matter where he was or who he was with, she was his first love, and nothing would change that.

A sleeping Henry lay in the arms of Penelope, who sat beside Reid and Rossi in the waiting room. Hours of nothing but hushed conversations and tear-stained faces. It seemed like they waited a lifetime. Why in the world did time creep by so slowly when someone they loved was hurt? Any other situation, time flew by before they could even blink.

"Family of Jennifer Jareau?" a voice called. But no one moved or blinked. "Jennifer Jareau?" the voice called again.

Rising quickly from their seats, Hotch and Morgan approached the doctor. "That's us." They said in unison.

"You're going to want to sit down." the doctor spoke, as the rest of the team joined them where they stood. "Jennifer… she… her injuries were extensive. She lost a lot of blood, and the bullet severed her spinal cord and tore her brain stem to shreds. We've got her stabilized, for now, but she's not going to make it through this."

Sobs erupted from Penelope as she struggled to soothe Henry who had awoken to the commotion. Hotch, Rossi, and Reid stood, faces to the floor, struggling to process what they had just heard. Will sunk to the floor, trying to keep himself composed and stay strong for his son.

"You're going to want to say your goodbyes. She more than likely will not make it through tomorrow night." the doctor said, before offering his apologies and leaving the team to their own.

Morgan immediately turned on his heel and stormed down the corridor. He needed a break, to get some air. This couldn't be happening. Why was it always his fault? Why did his partners always end up fighting for their life? First Emily, and now JJ. _"Emily…"_

Without hesitating another second, he yanked his phone from his pocket and dialed her number.

"This is Prentiss." a familiar voice answered after a few seconds.

"Em." he whispered. "Em, it's Morgan. There's been an accident." he fought back tears as he spoke. "It's JJ, Em, she… she isn't going to make it."

He was answered with a choked sob as Emily tried to process the information she had just been given. How? How could this be happening? How could her best friend, the love of her life, be taken from her once again? It was already hard enough to be forced to pretend she was dead and only be in communication with JJ through online games of Scrabble. And then she came back only to later move to London when JJ told her that she wouldn't – no, she couldn't- leave Will to be with her. And now here she was, thousands of miles away. And this wasn't fair.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Morgan. I'm on my way. Tell her to hold on," she choked out. "Tell her to hold on, please, for me."

* * *

 _"JJ, please. Hang on, baby, please. I'm coming. I need you to wait. I need to say goodbye."_ Emily's mind was clouded with emotions as she boarded the next commercial flight and took off towards DC. She wanted so desperately to be there in an instant, to hold JJ's hand, and tell her that she loved her and that she was sorry. No, she –needed- to be there. She needed to say those words.

Back in DC, the team and Will took turns entering JJ's room and saying their goodbyes. It was almost as if she could have just been asleep. She seemed so peaceful, so at ease. How could it have come to this?

Rossi and Hotch went first, each taking a few moments to reflect on the joy and light that JJ had brought to the team. She was the constant ray of sunshine, the positivity through the darkness of what they did for a living. Jennifer Jareau was like a daughter to them both. And they knew without a doubt that their lives would not be the same without her.

Reid and Penelope followed, each lingering just a moment longer than their superiors had. JJ was a sister to them. She was their rock, their light, their family. She joked with them like no other and promised to never leave their sides. As long as it was in her power, she would be there for them. And they would be for her just the same. Tears welled up in their eyes as they hugged each other and exited the room.

Will entered the room quietly, leading Henry by the hand. He took a seat next to the head of the bed, and pulled Henry into his lap. "Oh JJ. I knew that your becoming an agent was a bad idea. But you persisted. You lived for this. It was who you were. And you gave it your everything. You loved this job. And you loved your family." he spoke softly, reaching for JJ's lifeless hand. "You loved us endlessly. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I'm sorry I left you and our son. And I'm sorry I didn't protect you. Jennifer Jareau, I will always love you." With tears rolling freely down his face, he lifted Henry onto the bed where JJ lay. "Give momma a kiss, and tell her goodnight, Henry boy." Henry looked at Will, unsure, who nodded in encouragement. Slowly, Henry leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on JJ's cheek. "Night night momma. I love you." he said softly, before hopping off the bed and running out the door to see his 'Uncle' Spencer. "Jennifer Jareau, you were too pure for this world. I promise you I will give our boy the life he deserves and I promise he will never forget who you are, who you were. I love you." With this, he placed and gentle kiss on JJ's lips, and gave her hand one last squeeze before making his way out of the room to be with his son and the team.

Morgan entered the room hesitantly. "God, JJ. Why was I so stupid?" he spoke softly, pulling the chair closer to her bed and taking a seat. "You are too good for us. That's why this had to happen. You are too good." he chuckled. "Thank you, my friend, for having my back. For protecting me, even when it meant faking Emily's death. God, JJ, I owe you so much and I'll never be able to show you how much I appreciate you." He felt the tears well up in his eyes. "For Christ's sake. Why didn't I cover you? Why didn't I just tell you to wait for me? What was I thinking, Jay? This is all my fault." he said, as the tears began to fall and his head fell weakly into his hands. "I know what you would be telling me right now. 'Morgan, don't blame yourself. It was out of your control. How would we have known the unsub would be armed and ready to attack?' But it's not that easy. You are…were, my partner. And even though I never said it, I love you JJ. You, and Emily, you guys, you're my sisters and I love you. God JJ, please, just hang on. Please, Emily is on her way. I need you to hang on. She needs you to make it, just a little while longer. JJ, I know you never told her how you really felt. How much you loved her. But I promise you, she feels exactly the same way. That's why she left for London. God, JJ, she loves you so much, so please, just hang on until she gets here."

A sudden ringing filled Morgan's ears. His stomach dropped. He knew what that sound meant. JJ was flatlining; her heart had stopped beating. In an instant, doctors and nurses surrounded the bed, pushing him out of the way, fighting to save her life. Fighting to allow her to hang on, just a little bit longer. But it was too late.

And just like that, in an instant, Jennifer Jareau, Special Agent of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit was gone.

* * *

Funeral arrangements were made rather quickly, and their beloved JJ were to be buried just two days later.

Due to circumstances out of her control, Emily finally arrived in DC the afternoon after JJ's passing. In a mess of cancelled flights and lost luggage, Emily had lost her cell phone charger and missed the call from Hotch informing her of what had happened just hours earlier. Upon landing, Emily found the nearest payphone and called Morgan immediately.

"Morgan." his voice answered.

"Hey, it's Em. I just landed. How is she? I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Em…" he spoke into the phone. "I'm so-"

"NO."

"Emily, I'm sorry. She didn't make it through the night." he whispered into the phone.

But all that answered him were sobs as Emily fell to the floor in the middle of the airport, struggling to breathe. _"This can't be happening… NO. WAKE UP, EMILY, WAKE UP! This has got to be a nightmare…"_

Fourty-five minutes later a taxi carrying Emily pulled up to the front of the BAU back in Quantico, VA. She was greeted by Morgan who pulled her into an embrace as she once again collapsed into tears at the news of JJ's death. Why did the flight get rerouted and then the connection cancelled? Why did that have to happen and now of all times? Here she was, in DC, her best friend and love of her life, tragically killed on the job. This was supposed to be her. Why couldn't it have been her? God, she would do anything for this to not be real.

The team spent the afternoon and evening together, taking turns sharing their fondest memories of their beloved JJ, and breaking into tears in unbelief of the events that had unfolded in the past 24 hours. This is not how they were supposed to be reunited with Will, and it was certainly not how they were meant to be reunited with Emily either. The cruel, horrible world had struck again.

The next morning came quickly and before they knew it the team found themselves standing in the middle of the cemetery, surrounded by so many others who cared for and loved their sweet JJ. Not a single one of them had listened to the words the minister had spoken. Rather, they stood there in silence, seeking comfort in the presence of each other as they waited for the crowd to disappear before they even considered moving. One by one they placed white roses on the casket, whispering their final goodbyes until only Emily remained.

There was no way this could be happening. She refused to believe it. She refused to move, to say goodbye. There was so much that she wished she had told JJ when she had the chance. There was so much she regretted, and so much she had hoped for. And in the blink of an eye, her entire world had ended. Slowly, she walked to the casket, rose in hand. Placing the rose gently, a sigh escaped her lips and she fell onto the casket in a mess of tears. "Oh god, Jayje. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why didn't I fight for you? Why did I just walk away? I'm so stupid. I walked away from you, from the best thing that's ever happened in my life. You were the one constant, Jay, the one who always brought a smile to my face without fail. You loved me to no end, even when I felt like no one ever would. I didn't deserve you. This world didn't deserve you. I love you, JJ. I love you so much it hurts. I don't know how to do this without you. And my god I wish I didn't have to. I hate you for leaving me alone. But I know you will always be with me. I wish it didn't have to end this way, but here we are. I love you, a hundred million days and until eternity, I love you." And Emily cried until she could not cry any more.

* * *

Hours turned to days, turned to weeks, and before they knew it, it had been two months since JJ's tragic passing. Will sold his and JJ's old house and moved Henry and himself in with JJ's parents up in Pennsylvania. Emily had since moved back to DC and rejoined the team at the BAU. Cases rolled in as normal and they worked diligently to bring the cases to be closed. Day by day, it got a little easier, though the empty seat at the round table, and the extra seat on the jet reminded them of the friend they had lost. They agreed to work that much harder, in JJ's memory, and to not let the void completely consume them. The tears shed had slowed, and laughter became their norm once again.

After a particularly eerie case had been closed at the fine hands of the BAU, Emily found herself in her car in front of JJ's old place. "God JJ, I wish you were here right now to talk to. I can't seem to shake this case." Emily's gaze fell upon the trees which Henry's swing once hung from. And that's when she saw it. On the highest branch of the tree, a blackbird sitting quietly, watching from above. And the tears fell freely, but she felt at ease. And she knew that she was never truly going to be alone.


End file.
